in a heatwave

there was a before paris, and now its after

Hi friends,

As the melodramatic title suggests, my time in Paris has come to an end. As one does, I spent a good part of my flight home looking back on photos from my brief time as a Parisian and reflecting on how much I’ve grown. I arrived in Paris last August in a heatwave, and left this week during another. The weather felt like bookends to the initial discomfort of arriving somewhere new and to the similar feeling of knowing I’m leaving. This newsletter is a sappy one, be warned!

On French: I arrived in Paris with a limited command of French, and I left slightly better. I’ve discovered that part of my Vietnamese side of the family lives in the city, and they felt so familiar to me when I first met them, even though I'd never met them before. My weekends were spent practicing French with my three aunts in their 80s. They made sure I was well fed, always sending me home with a Tupperware full of food. My local boulangerie knows my order ~ always a baguette tradition and a sweet treat of some sort (I rotated between a millefeuille and tarte citron for a while there)

On University: Spending a year in the French university system was not for the faint of heart. In the spring, I learned to better advocate for myself when the going got tough. Not only that, but bureaucracy is everywhere, and certain systems and attitudes in place for teaching are something I had to get used to quickly. Students are ranked against one another, and professors are sometimes rigid in how they command the classroom. But regardless of all that, I loved it. I was inspired every day to walk through the gates of my school, located in the heart of the city, with beautiful spaces hidden behind the facade of a regular street building. I would raise my hand in class to ask questions about the latest developments in AI, the art market, international law, the Artemis 2 launch, and the escalating crisis in the Strait of Hormuz. My professors would enthusiastically respond, as they are at the forefront of dealmaking and analysis, which makes it all the more worthwhile to pick their brains. Being in a school exclusive to students studying subjects similar to mine meant that every conversation and every person I met were people I instantly connected with. We all love what we study, and we are all motivated to immerse ourselves in the city and understand the world and each other. It reminded me a lot of my friends back in Edinburgh, where we all fell in love with the city and life in Scotland.

Also, I got to sit in the same amphitheater as Ukrainian President Zelensky and hear him speak live about what it means to fight Russia and how the war has evolved over the years. I got to listen to Prime Ministers Jens-Frederik Nielsen of Greenland and Mette Frederiksen of Denmark right after the US-Greenland takeover crisis. It was surreal.

On Friends: Right before I left Paris, I had a conversation with a friend about how we all became so close so fast. It got me sentimental ~ it takes a series of decisions to lead you to cross paths with someone, and you might miss meeting someone that will change your life by mere seconds. The people I’ve met in Paris, just by the decision to attend school here, and the friends I’ve made, could not have changed me more. My Paris friends are people I will treasure for a lifetime. I called my friend Ed just before typing this newsletter. To think I met him almost a year ago, and now we’re part of each other’s lives, and we caught up on life just like we saw each other yesterday. I got coffee with one of my bestest friends, Liv, one last time, and made a promise to visit her in California as soon as possible. On my last night, I got ice cream with my master’s friends, who all turned up! We met in French class. I promised Wendi I’ll text her when I’m in Boston this summer, and Leon in Tokyo this December. What a blessing it is to meet all these people and to have all our paths cross.

On the city: As the months went on, I realized the city had hardened in my view. Whether taking public transport or walking, I thought that every path I would take would lead me to see or experience something new. As I crossed Pont Neuf for the trillionth time, the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame in the distance, I realized that the city stays the same. I saw a photo of my Aunt Phuc in the 70s, walking barefoot in my neighborhood. The streets looked the same - Haussmannian buildings intact. My Uncle Luong, after living in Paris for 50 years, remembers each street like the back of his hand.

Parisians love their habits. Their habits are cyclical, influenced by the weather or other habits, such as going to work. Sometimes I would see people sitting along the Seine, sharing a bottle of wine to keep warm in winter, or standing in the same spot in spring with ice cream cones in hand. The city empties out in August for an extended vacation to the “more peaceful” south of France. The same folks attend mass every Sunday, wearing their best and kneeling before the Priest to receive communion, then wandering off to their local boulangerie or farmer’s market.

A friend once told me that everything may seem glamorous at the start, but once life normalizes, the beauty and charm fade, and reality begins to settle in. Paris became that to me, and at times it was hard to pinch myself and realize that I was living in Paris, but just knowing I lived there made it still meaningful. Living in Paris will always live with me, and I’m sure that when I eventually return, the city's physical structure will stay the same, and my understanding of life there will have staying power, too.

I would like to think I understand Hemingway’s words better now. Paris is always going to be moveable, because time is, but the comforts, enjoyment, and fulfillment that take shape within the city's physical contours will remain as long as you savor every day you spend there.

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My last week in Paris

• My friend Curtis and I met up with my cousin Mia and her friends to watch the final PSG match against Arsenal. It was probably one of the best games ever. We were in the 20th arrondissement, and people were celebrating in the streets after the penalty shootout went PSG’s way. Lots of honking, flares, and fireworks in the street…

• My friend Roisin and I tried to beat the heatwave by ordering a sampler ice cream plate in Le Marais. Unfortunately, it all melted in five minutes

• I visited Hilma Af Klint’s exhibition in the Grand Palais ~ so spiritual

• I got ice cream and orange wine with Liv and Hanna at Folderol

• Mom and I (mostly my mom) packed up all my stuff - I think she wanted to murder me after realizing how many things I’ve accumulated…

After Paris.

Now that I’m living in the after, I realized that life moves on quickly. I start work on Monday, and I’m happy to be back in Singapore. After a grueling return back I may add! My mom and I had to lug three giant suitcases and three duffel bags onto the Eurostar to London, then pay extra for the additional weight at Heathrow airport. I swear, Mom & Dad, if you’re reading this, I promise to just bring two pieces of luggage to Edinburgh this fall.

I’m also grappling with the fact that this may be one of my last summers in Singapore. I’m excited to return to so many home favorites ~ the food, the bubble tea, the easy living. I’ll be working in an office near my dad’s, so I’m also excited to get lunch with him and spend time with my family before my brother heads off to college in August.

I think my greatest takeaway from Paris would probably be that this city and its people helped me understand what it means to live a good life and what is truly meaningful to want out of it. It’s quite simple, really, and I would like to think Paris showed me what it really means to embody these words:

Do what you love, try your best, be kind, be patient, practice gratitude, take the time to dream, surround yourself with people you love, and always be curious.

I leave you all with that to sit with.

Thanks for reading,

~ Renee